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How To Manage Vulnerability In Your Life

Bottled Up Emotions

I am one of those people that tend to bottle things up inside . Yes I know pretty bad but so true . I grew up being one of those that had been picked on for being different . You always know when you’re a  softy at heart . I always wore my heart on my sleeve and had a face that was a mirror .   What do you do when you’re so easy to read ? You try to cover it up . My mother always knew tho and could read me like a book .She is and always will be my best friend . I learned at an early age to just push those feelings down as much as I could .


Gotta Laugh To Keep From Crying


As like everything in life it will eventually come to a head . I would lose my temper and five years worth of emotions with it . I knew I had a problem so I turned to my next trick in my bag . Laughter !!! I thought if I could make a joke at my pain ,anger, or myself . I could control my temper . It worked for a long while to and not even my mom knew . Man I thought I found a way to trick everyone . Not true at all !! There is always someone in your life that can see the truth . Even under the best masks and my sisters just knew . My mother told me I use to tell her . Mommy you have to laugh to keep from crying . From then on she knew she had to keep a close eye on me . Just because I use to wear my heart on my sleeve . She was also scared that someone would come along and break my heart .


In the end


I learned after I had my twin girls that I could not keep a lid on things . Postpartum depression was kicking my butt . With all those extra hormones running through my body . I could not hide it anymore at all and I hit that wall . I breast feed the girls for 11 months before I had to have a hysterectomy . Waking up every 2 to 3 hours to pump was a crazy thing . I was determined to give my girls the best of me . My husband was the one that asked me to get help . I went o get help that day . I will always work to let people know that it’s ok to ask for help . My husband found his best friend had committed suicide in a hanger . From then on we make it our mission to let people know it’s ok to ask for help .  So please if You’re feeling lost,overwhelmed . Please reach out and find someone to talk with or go get some help . There are places you can go to get the help you need . They will make sure to keep it confidential .


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