PTSD & The Effects On Kids
What is a home since it has so many different meanings. For us a home is a place of comfort,protected,trust, and love . Our loved ones serve our country. We on the other hand had no idea the effect that it could on our future children. You hear all the time how you may not be there at birth . So having to video chat in a birthing room or hospital seems weird. To be honest I was in so much pain that I worried either the other guys would see the whole birth to be polite . Or scare the heck out of them .
Before Deployment Dad
My husband was so hands on. Our son even peed on his father in front of his master Sergeant that visited us in the hospital.Yes we still laugh at that memory.Playing with his boots and laughing as he would have some big shoes to fill. He was always smiling and playing with him. We took tons of pictures before his first deployment. Before everything changed for us .
He left A Piece Of Himself Over There
I saw the shut down man . Him crying over his fallen comrades. Even home some of them struggled to adjust. I thought I did a good job of hiding his issues from the kids. They were all asleep when those moments would happen. Jumping in his sleep, anxious all the time, over protecting the home. Till one therapy session that involved the kids showed us the truth . They saw it all but kept silent on it. It breaks my heart as a mother.
The Kids Write Down Memories
In this session the parents left the room. While we could listen to them recount stories It was hard to stand in front of a group of 12. So they had them write them down on paper. For some odd reason the therapist said kids find it easier to talk that way. I was scared and while my husband sat there . Scared and ashamed for what he was dealing with . He had to leave the room for a break. It was to much for him. Actually for most of the men and woman it was hard to hear our children .
Healing , Sharing & Growth
As they each took turn sharing memories of what they saw . We all cried in that room . Those kids who we thought we shielded from it . To find out it wasn’t the case at all. She remembered her father grabbing his head screaming about the nightmares.the flashbacks of patrol duty and his fallen comrades passing away. We all held each other and cried. That was the negative in our view point. The positive effect was that we were able to explain what was going on. The parent and the children were able to sit across from each other . Have that very important conversation .
After Effect Of The Conversation
He actually sat down with me for nice the kids were asleep. Talked about retirement and where he sees for us as a family. Some may ask about medication. Yes he is on medication and we talk about how he feels . It’s a trial and error with medication. But with therapy and support. He is 4 classes away from finishing his bachelor’s degree. We are not afraid to see what the future holds for us. It took us a while to get here but we are here. Let’s see where this road takes us. Thank you for taking the time to listen to our story. If it helps give others the strength and hope for the future. Why not.
Can’t understand what’s going on tonight
All the yelling and screaming happening right before my very eyes
Push my Blanket and grab mister fluffy
Dad is scream fire in the hole
While mommy talk to him so softly it always soothes his troubled soul
She grabs him softly as they collapse on the floor
They are both crying while he says the medications not working
I drop mister fluffy as my mom turns the corner
Go back to bed baby it’s just another nightmare
As I close the door and can’t help but wonder
Maybe daddy needs mister fluffy to keep the monsters at bay
He just kept grabbing his head saying I miss my friends
They all left him behind
But isn’t the motto no man left behind
It’s passed midnight can’t help but pray
For the lord and angels above to lay there hand on my daddy today.