My Last Wish
The Nice Quiet Morning
There are plenty of days where your just on the go it may seems like. Today was rainy and cold which means netflicks for the girls. usually plug my earbuds in my ear with my meditation music on. You see we all tend to push our emotions down. Using work as an excuse not to deal with whatever is going at that moment in time. As a person that use to spend her days pushing her emotions aside. I can tell you that it only takes one thing to set you off. Before the storm of rages.
Watch Out! There She Blows
As funny as the title sounds. it’s what happens right? one day it just get to much to push down. then boom. your crying ,screaming, or raging about something that happened five months ago. while the rain was falling my mind went to my grandfather who passed away. At the time of his passing being out of town with my husband. not able to say goodbye to him is my hugest regret. he was like the father I never had. Also the fact that he would always talk about his love for my grandmother.
Dealing With That Regret
My emotions took me there. to the place where my grandmother was holding on to his hand. saying her goodbyes must have been the hardest thing ever .In that moment I took a pen to paper .wrote what I thought were maybe his last thoughts at the time. how do you put into words your last goodbyes? what came from that poem was a great release for me emotionally wise.After it was said and down. cried my eyes out and said my goodbyes. The best thing anyone one of us can do. keep their memories alive.
My Last Wish
I hold your hand as the nurse comes in
Don’t you realize you taught me how to live
In my darkest times you always dried my bloodshot eyes
Kissed my head an told me it would be alright
Always held my hand when I was scared
Even in my pain ; you never moved and were always there
When I was weak;you lent me your strength
As I sit here and hold your hand
The years may have passed but yet here we still stand
Listening to the machines beeping and breathing with you rhythmically
After it’s all said and done
Your beauty still leaves me breathless
Always remember tho my hands tremble with age
When our eyes lock together in a gaze
Now and forever you will be my one and only
As I draw my last breath and I hear you cry
I’ll never truly leave your side.
There Love Story
Having shared this poem with my grandmother was incredibly hard for me to. She loved it to say the least. Many tears were shed along with pictures of grandpa in polyester and the 70’s comes to mind. who knew he would rock bell bottoms ? we shared so many great memories as a family all together.
Closure was found by all
With being married for almost 40 years to someone.In a way she felt like his memory was fading some.The little tasks that she does she often forgets he is gone. She will still call his name to ask for something.See she has dementia. Sometimes she forgets and her mind slips a little bit.We enjoy the times that we have with her while she has them.At least in this small way there story can live on.maybe even passed down through the family.