What’s That Feeling?
Is It Anger or Something Else?
There was this feeling that would always come to the surface.It would always happen when when someone would simply walk away. Rather than engage in some cycle of an endless disagreement. While meditating it would bubble up and come out in what seemed like a flood of emotion.would leave me disturbed. was I still angry? Ego getting the best of me? Being self aware of your emotional state is very important.Allowing yourself to get to the bottom of those feels. Figuring what the issue is so that you can have a better understanding .
Going through self checklist everyday is a task.it’s often a necessary task to clean our side of the street. What really happened vs The lie. while somethings we simply can’t help as life always happens everyday. we can control how we react to them when they do.For example another co-worker is rude to you while working. your could either be rude right back or simply continue taking care of your job. Waiting till after work is over and having that conversation outside of work. Hey , I’m sorry if I made a mistake or did something wrong to offend you today. It could be a bad day. Or something else that has nothing to do with you at all.
Not many know this but I have a really bad temper. there I said it. Learning this at a really young age did help me.realizing that my words can hurt people and cause them to more pain. Slowing down in my anger. thinking about what was I really mad at in the first place? Taking notice of my mother and grandparents. how they dealt with that anger. they would pray about it or clean the heck out of the house.I read somewhere that the state you keep your space in. is exactly how you feel on the inside. interesting right?
Yes I said it.While Promoting serenity and peace is a plus. Taking notice that during those time that I do have more to say. There’s nothing wrong with a snappy clap back in a poem. why? they have no idea who your talking about and you’re free to express yourself. Plus who looks good in an orange jumpsuit ? Red is even worse people hello. That thought often does keep me in check.ps yes I’m a chicken.
Cleaning Your Space
With that thought in mind. It also came to mind the best ideas come to mind when cleaning my space. usually everyone knows when I’m cleaning stay away and just let me work through my emotions. Clarity often comes after the storm of the mind.during one of those times a friend melvin said steph where’s that inspiration we love so much? it hit me like a ton of bricks that I had been letting chaos and life get to me. great to have friends that can see when your struggling and call you on it to.
You feel this energy rising up inside
Don’t be scared of it because it’s your fire inside
The only time it rises is when you need the courage to move forward
When that happens you don’t care about the judgement of others
Fore what does it matter from those that took their pound of flesh
There just mad at you because you stood up and said enough is enough
I’m feeding you no more you already took to much
You may think I’m worthless but I beg to defer
You might want to take that time to stare in the mirror
No need for apologies
Just know I forgave you already
Because the past ; is the past
And I’m moving toward my future already.
The poem Fire is what came pouring out of me. he was right.it was time to clean it up and burn up which was no longer serving me.My energy was up and buzzing around me.why?what changed you may ask. simple read the last line in the poem. My mindset is what changed. moving forward to a much better state of mind where being sad and upset no longer bothered me. embracing my future is exactly what the doctor order.